Why is this afghan have such a big importance to me? I don't even think I have ever told my family, not on purpose or anything, it's just an emotional part of my past.
To explain this I will have to take you back 10 years.
March 25, 2002. Why do I remember this day so vividly? It's the day I turned in my drivers license. Also, it's my older brother's birthday. It was at that time I really realized that I was not seeing things in my periphreal that I should be seeing. A few days prior to surrendering my license I swiped my passenger mirror on a mailbox. Where the hell did that come from!!! Ever since that day I tortured myself by asking "What if that was a kid?!" over the next few days I turned in my resignation as a secretary, turned in my license and I was done driving. I had a 3 year old son, and my marriage was falling apart. You see, he wasn't exactly thrilled I gave up my license. We were having problems already but it didn't make matters better that I wasn't driving anymore. I won't bore you with those details. Short version.... I did leave later that summer.
May of 2002. My grandmother, Virginia, was dying of pancreatic cancer. So not only was I dealing with the depression of losing my vision, my failing marriage and now I was losing my grandma very quickly. When I realized how much vision i had lost just in 10 years i started to appreciate the little things that you take for granted with your vision. She had a great knack for crafting that I never took an interest in learning from the "old" people as a child. Yes I know..... They weren't old, as some kids think, grandparents aren't cool, they don't know anything..... Boy do I kick myself for that immature thought.
When she passed away in June I started to really remember and recall memories that I didn't even know I had, Watching my grandma and great grandma quilting or crocheting. I thought I had enough visual memory to teach myself and that I would crochet in honor of them. It took a looong time to figure out how to turn rows without it turning into a triangle! Eventually I got the double crochet down (i actually thought I invented the stitch by just playing around! Lol)
Fast forwarding 4 years to 2005. My Grandpa, one of the toughest guys I knew, became one of the sweetest ones I knew. I had a conversation with him once while we were alone, i don't remember it all (I wish I could) he asked me how I was doing at the blind school. I had finished recently if I remember right and told him i was doing great and was going to culinary school. He actually had tears in his eyes. He had these piercing blue eyes that were so strong looking that it was strange for me to see tears in them. He told me he had never been so proud of me as he was at that moment. I was really surprised, we NEVER had a heart to heart conversation like that. He went on to tell me he was so heartbroken to hear about my vision and was very worried about me. All I thought was this strong man who was a tank driver in WWII and was so stern in my childhood was proud of me? I cried. We didn't have many moments like that afterwards. But it meant the world to me.
I decided to make him something for his birthday that fall. I got an afghan book. Learned how to read a pattern and in my free time I would crochet. I tried every single one of the 7 patterns and I hated them all! They weren't "strong" looking. I can't give a man a lacy afghan!!! I went online and found different stitches. One called the "crazy" stitch. To me it looked "manly" but airy. I think I spent 8 months on that blanket. I finished that blanket a day before his birthday.
I cannot remember who was with me, I think it was my aunt, i gave my grandpa a package and told him it was for him and his birthday. He was kind of shocked. I never have given him something that was from me. Told him grandma was my motivation to learn to crochet and i wanted to give him this blanket. He unwrapped it and studied the stitching and I can tell he was proud of it.
June 2006, Grandpa passed away at home. The afghan I made was given back to me. It was surreal to me. I gave this to someone as a gift and i have it back? I was sure that he used that blanket as I could smell him on it. I took comfort in knowing he used it and knew I made it with love.
Later that year, another dear Grandpa was sick and in the hospital. He had been and still is my motivation for conquering blindness. He always told me I was his favorite granddaughter, even though I was the only one (lol) if you ever need motivation on conquering anything, he is the one to help you just by hearing his amazing story. He was blind with the same disease I am going blind with. He could make you anything out of wood and metal! He was quite the inventor too!
Back to when he was hospitalized. I wanted to make him something to cheer him up. I had this same afghan i made my other grandpa laying on the couch, I had this thought and hope that he could use this blanket and know it was made with love from me. He did like that blanket. He had it for a year before he passed in March of 2007. I again have this afghan back.
I now use it to warm up with and snuggle under. I made it with love and shared it with two very important men in my life, my grandpas. Now I use it knowing their love is in it too from all the times they wrapped up in it.
This blanket will probably continue on to another family member who needs the extra love someday. But for now, I need it.
To explain this I will have to take you back 10 years.
March 25, 2002. Why do I remember this day so vividly? It's the day I turned in my drivers license. Also, it's my older brother's birthday. It was at that time I really realized that I was not seeing things in my periphreal that I should be seeing. A few days prior to surrendering my license I swiped my passenger mirror on a mailbox. Where the hell did that come from!!! Ever since that day I tortured myself by asking "What if that was a kid?!" over the next few days I turned in my resignation as a secretary, turned in my license and I was done driving. I had a 3 year old son, and my marriage was falling apart. You see, he wasn't exactly thrilled I gave up my license. We were having problems already but it didn't make matters better that I wasn't driving anymore. I won't bore you with those details. Short version.... I did leave later that summer.
May of 2002. My grandmother, Virginia, was dying of pancreatic cancer. So not only was I dealing with the depression of losing my vision, my failing marriage and now I was losing my grandma very quickly. When I realized how much vision i had lost just in 10 years i started to appreciate the little things that you take for granted with your vision. She had a great knack for crafting that I never took an interest in learning from the "old" people as a child. Yes I know..... They weren't old, as some kids think, grandparents aren't cool, they don't know anything..... Boy do I kick myself for that immature thought.
When she passed away in June I started to really remember and recall memories that I didn't even know I had, Watching my grandma and great grandma quilting or crocheting. I thought I had enough visual memory to teach myself and that I would crochet in honor of them. It took a looong time to figure out how to turn rows without it turning into a triangle! Eventually I got the double crochet down (i actually thought I invented the stitch by just playing around! Lol)
Fast forwarding 4 years to 2005. My Grandpa, one of the toughest guys I knew, became one of the sweetest ones I knew. I had a conversation with him once while we were alone, i don't remember it all (I wish I could) he asked me how I was doing at the blind school. I had finished recently if I remember right and told him i was doing great and was going to culinary school. He actually had tears in his eyes. He had these piercing blue eyes that were so strong looking that it was strange for me to see tears in them. He told me he had never been so proud of me as he was at that moment. I was really surprised, we NEVER had a heart to heart conversation like that. He went on to tell me he was so heartbroken to hear about my vision and was very worried about me. All I thought was this strong man who was a tank driver in WWII and was so stern in my childhood was proud of me? I cried. We didn't have many moments like that afterwards. But it meant the world to me.
I decided to make him something for his birthday that fall. I got an afghan book. Learned how to read a pattern and in my free time I would crochet. I tried every single one of the 7 patterns and I hated them all! They weren't "strong" looking. I can't give a man a lacy afghan!!! I went online and found different stitches. One called the "crazy" stitch. To me it looked "manly" but airy. I think I spent 8 months on that blanket. I finished that blanket a day before his birthday.
I cannot remember who was with me, I think it was my aunt, i gave my grandpa a package and told him it was for him and his birthday. He was kind of shocked. I never have given him something that was from me. Told him grandma was my motivation to learn to crochet and i wanted to give him this blanket. He unwrapped it and studied the stitching and I can tell he was proud of it.
June 2006, Grandpa passed away at home. The afghan I made was given back to me. It was surreal to me. I gave this to someone as a gift and i have it back? I was sure that he used that blanket as I could smell him on it. I took comfort in knowing he used it and knew I made it with love.
Later that year, another dear Grandpa was sick and in the hospital. He had been and still is my motivation for conquering blindness. He always told me I was his favorite granddaughter, even though I was the only one (lol) if you ever need motivation on conquering anything, he is the one to help you just by hearing his amazing story. He was blind with the same disease I am going blind with. He could make you anything out of wood and metal! He was quite the inventor too!
Back to when he was hospitalized. I wanted to make him something to cheer him up. I had this same afghan i made my other grandpa laying on the couch, I had this thought and hope that he could use this blanket and know it was made with love from me. He did like that blanket. He had it for a year before he passed in March of 2007. I again have this afghan back.
I now use it to warm up with and snuggle under. I made it with love and shared it with two very important men in my life, my grandpas. Now I use it knowing their love is in it too from all the times they wrapped up in it.
This blanket will probably continue on to another family member who needs the extra love someday. But for now, I need it.
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